Sometimes I feel as if my right leg is just about ready to throw in the towel. Never-ending knee problems, and now this. Friends, please sign your organ donor cards and specify that if you die in some horrific accident, you’d like me to have your leg. Thanks.
It started with a mosquito bite. I’ve had billions or possibly trillions of them since I got here. Case in point:
after my first night in PP
This particular bite had healed over long ago—or so I thought. I’d estimate that it had been two weeks already since the bite’s first appearance when it started itching again and become purple and swollen. Soon, the swelling had spread to the rest of my foot and I was having trouble walking. Luckily, I have years of experience with limping, and pulled it off with aplomb.
the word 'cankle' was invented for just such an occasion
At first, the spot itself somewhat resembled the exhaust-pipe burns that expats call Cambodian Tattoos.
Day 1: not so bad
When the problem first appeared, I figured it would disappear within a day. After all, I’m always complaining that nothing interesting ever happens to me. But when I stepped out of bed on the second morning, I got a bolt of pain up my leg and saw that things were only getting grosser down there.
Day 2: that ain't right
And so I got my honky butt down to the closest expensive Western clinic, where it was treated to a shot of antibiotics—they don’t seem to have mastered the proverbial shot in the arm here—and a dose of good old-fashioned bedside manner. The American doctor speculated that it’s probably a staph or strep infection, unless it’s that flesh-eating disease that’s been showing up lately, and golly, let’s hope it’s not antibiotic resistant. Did you hear about that woman in Brazil who just died from something similar?
He sent me away with a fistful of pills, and told me to return if it got worse or started draining. And so, the next morning:
Day 3: gross, yes, but I post this to uphold my journalistic integrity
More alarming, however, was my face. I’ve compared it to Jocelyn Wildenstein, a Cabbage Patch Kid, and an apple doll, but all my Western friends here were like, “It’s not so bad, promise.”
Pfft.
so kindly
But Cambodians know what’s what. At work, a Khmer reporter poked my cheek and asked wtf happened. My language instructor laughed at me and said I looked like a pig.
On my emergency return to the clinic, I was hooked up to an IV of antibiotics and had my pills switched up. No one seemed too concerned about my face. Maybe they all assumed that I’m naturally roly-poly.
Since then, the face has almost returned to normal. I never thought I’d be so happy to see those rhinocerian bumps on my nose. The pain in my ankle is way down, and I think I just felt a mosquito bite me—they had been staying the eff away from my poison blood. All in all, it’s a pretty magical Valentine’s Day in Phnom Penh.
(Specials thanks to Pants for all the research and advice!)
Hey kiddo, maybe you should be using the booze externally ever time you get bit.
I’m never leaving Canada again.
I have one of those goofy Tilley-style hats with the drop down mosquito netting. I think I’ll print your photo(s) and glue them to the hat so next time someone (Michele) says ‘You look like a dork in that hat,’ I can say ‘Yup, but I don’t look like Bethany.’
my god i am reading this not knowing you wrote it thinking it was collection of travel stories, the last shot is priceless. way to keep a smile on your face!